We first discovered the Five Love Languages about 7 or 8 years ago when we were trying to be better parents. Someone had recommended The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman. It was so wonderful to discover Emma’s love language and how we could better communicate with her. She was more receptive to instruction, etc. when her ’emotional tank’ was full.
Then we discovered there was a book specifically for couples – this immediately became Christmas gifts for most of our family that year. Chris and I found our love languages and were surprised to see how each other felt most loved. We found that we SHOWED love through our own love language, which wasn’t the way the other person FELT more loved because it wasn’t their love language.
Fast forward to this month when we rediscovered these Five Love Languages. Chris is teaching the Marriage and Family Relations Class for church and tied the Love Languages in for the lesson on ‘nurturing love and friendship in marriage.’ I think it was eye-opening for the couples to see how they each feel most loved. Chris had me re-take the test as well and it was a good reminder to see where each of us was coming from. I think too that my love languages have shifted a bit in the last 7 years. I may not have thought Chris doing the dishes made me feel how much he loved me, but now I appreciate it so much more.
So, if you have done this before, see if your love language has changed over time. If you’ve never done this before, print a copy out for your spouse so you can each discover how to express heart-felt love most effectively. Click here for the test.
In case you are wondering, my most dominant love language is Physical Touch, closely followed by Quality Time. Both of those, however, are on the bottom of Chris’s list of love languages. His most dominant love language is Receiving Gifts, followed closely by Acts of Service, which were both at the very bottom of my list.
So, try it – the results may surprise you! When you try it, let me know what your love language is!
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